Culture and language impact what we think, feel and subsequently pen down – I discovered that first hand for my own self, or rather my teacher, Pele discovered it and made me see it.
We often use the speed write technique to generate the foundation of a poem. Typical flow is a 10 minute speed write (defined as not lifting the pen, not judging, not editing), maybe another if it’s no good and then from the 40-50 lines that get generated, selecting 5-10 of them, working on them a bit more and so on. You get the idea.
Now before I started to ‘learn’ poetry, my poems were quite esoteric and ‘up in the air’. Then my style changed to writing very grounded poems – about observations in everyday life, objects, personal experiences. The medium in both had been English. One day, Pele asked me to do a speed write in Hindi, the other language I know. What came out was something so different. While English brought objectivity and grounded-ness, Hindi brought out lovely imagery and vivid descriptions. Then it struck that using different languages I am able to access different parts of my brain to generate different thoughts and words!
I came here to UK about 9 years ago. Initially I wasn’t conscious at all about how my accent and choice of words was a bit different, until I went to a New Year’s fancy dress party dressed as an Indian Maharajah. Everyone in the party thought I was faking an Indian accent to play the part, and I had a hard time convincing them that ‘this IS my accent’. After that evening I became very conscious of my accent and the fact that I’m not from here. Made various attempts to ‘correct’ my accent, to be accepted, to get to belong here, but always that sense of ‘not fitting in’ prevailed.
But after that realisation that I could actually use my other language as an advantage (different part of the brain, different context, different stream of thought), I felt a lot better. In fact, my best poems have come from speed writes in English, then in Hindi, then translating Hindi to English, and finally picking the best from each part. This way I also learnt the complex art of poetry translation – rather I realised how difficult it can be. And I got into appreciating Hindi poetry as well. Last time I was in India I went to Old Delhi where there are a couple of last remaining specialised Hindi bookshops. Stocked up on poetry from greats like Amrita Pritam, Kaifi Azmi, Dhoomil, Nirala, Sumitranandan Pant, Nida Fazli and new poets like Viki Arya. Funny part is – after I finish paying , I look at the bag they had packed the books in and find the words “our other branch – in Wembley, London”! So I went all the way to Old Delhi to pick up Hindi poetry books while they are available right here in London!
Ending this post with a few (raw) lines I scribbled while travelling on the tube one evening:
Outsider Three white women in a foreign language It is me who feels foreign Where you draw the line is what matters White. Brown. Black. The fixed grey matter Hears, does not get Pretends, gets away
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